Our Family was irretrievably broken by divorce. I understand that it is painful, frustrating, sad and hurtful for children as well as for parents to cope with divorce. It’s a blaming game sometimes; the children blame the father, mother or both for the divorce, therefore refuse to speak or have a relationship with the ones that they blame.
The best way to cope with this situation is to behave like the adults that you are and keep open communication between both parents. This becomes impossible when one or both parties lose sight of the children that they have in common. The parents are more focused on battling each other than they are on the pain that they are imposing on their children. You both created these children and at some point there was love, lust or passion. You did not create them while you were fighting, that is obvious.
Regardless of any of the above mentioned, fact is your child or children no longer speak to you. It is the most unbearable pain that any loving parent can endure. What can you do as a parent? Continue to love your child, continue to show them you care and love them no matter what because they are a part of you. Send cards, flowers, letters, messages, phone calls, and smoke signal, whatever it takes. Show your child that you acknowledge and understand why they may blame you for whatever has occurred. If your child/children still will not communicate with you, encourage them to speak to a counselor, family member, pastor, and/or priest. Life is so short and we never know when or how we will depart from this earth. If you have a heart somewhere within your body, you will see the damage that you are causing your own child.
I am reaching out to all mothers, fathers, step-parents, guardians. Please do not encourage your child to stop speaking to their parents; you are destroying your child because you are more focused on yourself than you are on your child. If your child’s life is not being threatened by their parent, why do you accept this behavior? I am no expert on this subject, I am just a loving father that wishes to one day re-establish my relationship with my children. Let’s fight fair! Who is really winning in this situation?